I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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