You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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