I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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