I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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