Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
