i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
She bit a glass in half.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Randomize
