I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
