vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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