Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
