I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
