Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
