beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
