I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I fill condoms, not promises.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
