Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
