If that was your dad, he is hot
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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