somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Randomize
