You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
