its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
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