hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
