Can Purell be used as lube?
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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