I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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