Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
