That's when you crack a 10am beer
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
