I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I love you. Go after that dick
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
