you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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