I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
