Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
