Whod you bang
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
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