this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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