just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
