Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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