and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Drunk is not a location!
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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