I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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