They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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