dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
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