Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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