Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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