If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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