who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
