dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
