she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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