i just had sex bonerless
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
