I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
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