so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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