i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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