she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
