he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
He better not be in your backpack
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
