If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Randomize
