we have officially lost it.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
