From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
