so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
