that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
A+ Viking dick
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
