He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
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