Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
