people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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