Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Randomize
