I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
