in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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